To hear her laugh once more

Today my grandmother would have been 82. Its been over a year, I still cry.

I wrote this a week after she died.

Thoughts on Loss

One less person in this world who loves me
One less person to keep me company
One less person to pour me some tea
My Grandmother is gone
I wrestle with my new and inescapable reality

I've lost track of time and the life that I live
Days slip past, not seeming productive
It's been a week and a day, and I can foresee
How very long it will take to walk through this grief

One less beautiful smiling face
Setting the table with one less place
She didn't get to see me engaged
A prayer that I did so often pray

I don't know if time can really erase
The pain I feel, this empty space
I feel she took a piece of me
Like who I once was would be different to meet

A part of me died, the rest still lives
Life after Gramma has to begin
I hope that I'm like her in more than one way
That I'm inviting, and pleasant, with nice things to say

So many were fond of her quirky, sweet ways
She traveled to many a far away place
She made good friends of her neighbors
And made friends while away

She showed kindness to others
It was her natural way
I hope in my life, others will see
These things in her life I admired so deeply

I want to be like her, loving those I find around me
To help them to know that they're valued and worthy
Of a listening ear, a laugh and good company
To not overlook the life which surrounds me
To admire creation, all its natural beauty

So many things will remind me of her
From squirrels, birds and rabbits, to flowers and sunsets
Picking green beans and rhubarb and walks through the woods
Rainbows on walls, cookies and cardinals
Willow trees, forsythia and every cup of tea

I'll remember how she proudly displayed
Pictures of me and things that I made
I'll remember the sleepovers, with breakfast for dinner
And how the last time I saw her I gave her a manicure

The ache in my heart, it's so hard to bare
With one less person I know, who cares
But to be her grandchild I see was a gift
I am who I am because she lived
I'm a better person, because of how she did
I only wish she could have seen me married and known my kids

She's better off now, her discomfort here was long
She's in heaven now, dancing in her new body, singing new songs
I prayed to the Lord, that He'd reveal to me
What she might say to me if she could
The words that settled in to my heart, were these
"Don't worry Sharon. God, is Good."