classically monday

I shivered at work all day today. I hate being cold, but I had to strip down to my tank top within my first hour there. The morning began with immediately on arrival changing one baby out of the poo smeared clothes I found him in, after which he then saturated my jeans in puke, before that was dry the other baby then peed all over my side (through his ill applied diaper, which itself remained dry) and then proceeded to bust my lip with a head-butt. I feel so loved.

This lovely hour would only happen on a Monday. sigh. I still love you boys. Still not as bad as when my friend Jessica's toddler Judea decided we were talking too much amongst only ourselves, and not paying her enough attention so she approached me unashamedly with her fully loaded diaper, reached in and daintily smeared poop all over my leg. Twice. Yep we cleaned it up, had a laugh, and 5 minutes later she did it again. Guess she really meant it. At least there have been no intentional assaults from the boys quite yet... as far as I can tell anyway. There are just those days though where it kinda sorta feels like a conspiracy from two partners in crime...

Its a vicious cycle. Wonder if they'll ever just agree to disagree?

Clearly I out grew this cage some time ago.

I don't like it in here...

Ok. Had a yucky week. Still not 100% after my weird migraine/cold that hit a week ago. Bleh. Came home, cleaned, did some laundry, and had a panic attack over my bills. Think I forgot to breathe for a while there. Feeling super overwhelmed and considering getting a second job?! Ew. Can't believe I wrote those words. Second job equals no down time and a very burnt out and cranky me who no one will like to be around. Not that it would matter, since when would I have time to be around them? Can I handle two fussy babies on 10 hour shifts without my weekend recovery time?? Will it defeat the purpose completely by making me walk out from my full time job when I finally lose it there? At the moment, the only logical solution to my inner chaotic noise is, ice cream.

So happy we've been reunited.

sick

So I really like living alone, don't get me wrong. I have no one's mess to deal with but my own. No one comes home routinely at an ungodly hour to wake me up during the night. I like everything that's hanging on my walls. I don't have to compete for the bathroom, or pay a share for someone else's need for cable that I don't partake of. When I clean my kitchen at night, its still nice and clean when I get up in the morning. Love that. I don't have to give neurotic roommates many days notice before I have someone over. I can keep the temperature where its comfortable for me. I don't come home to my apartment smelling of greasy cube steak or any other smells strange and foreign to me. Bottom line, no drama. Peace and quiet.

But, when I am sick, that's when the charm seems to wear off a little.

I hate that I have to go out when I feel like crap and get my own dang soup. Or that I don't drink the tea in my pantry that would be good for me right now, because I just don't feel up to making it for myself. As someone who works all day as a care provider for others, it always just seems particularly sad when no one's around to help take care of you when you need it.

High fives to my friends Tim, and Heather though, two awesome people who have both brought me gatorade when I realllly needed it=) Tim also brought cat litter once because when I was so sick I was delusional and crashed out on the living room floor, the cat box had gotten so full that it was one solid, giant, hard lump of clumping litter and the cat had no where left to go. He even offered to clean it out for me! But I knew it was an impossible feat so I told him to just pour some new litter on top, heh. I hardly knew him at the time too. Had met him a few times I believe. Still laugh about that.

Anyway, I dragged myself to the store, got some soup, its in the fridge for later. Bedtime.

At first I was jealous of what they had together

but, I knew it wouldn't last

vicar humor

The Vicar of Dibley, best British television ever. Dawn French is my hero.

Each episode ends with the vicar attempting to tell Alice a joke...

Its Art.

Hi. My name is Sharon, and I go to the movies by myself.

Today, i will see this one.

just one of those days

fail

Didn't sleep at all last night, just laid there all night knowing all the while how hard today, one of my longer work days, would be not being rested. So I decided that when my alarm went off I would hit snooze one less time than usual so I would have time to try the complimentary coffee my apartment office boasts to provide. Never tried it before. I've been skeptical. I usually drink a cup of the weak, half strength coffee my boss makes when I get to work. I knew I needed something stronger for today.

So I got my coffee and some hazelnut creamer. Wasn't too bad. Then I went to get out of the car. As I struggled to grab my usual bags, as well as the additional cup of coffee, on top of the broken toaster my boss gave me as a house warming gift... I told myself, not to spill the coffee. I did though. It was hot. I lost a good half of the cup all over the front of me. Wore white today too. Ouchie. I guess sometimes when you step out to try something new, you risk getting burned. I told myself not to cry over spilled coffee.

me, a cynic?

cyni·cal (sin′i kəl)

adjective

1. believing that people are motivated in all their actions only by selfishness; denying the sincerity of people's motives and actions, or the value of living
2. sarcastic, sneering, etc.

cyn·i·cism n. 1. An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others: 2. A scornfully or jadedly negative comment or act Cynicism originally comprised the various philosophies of a group of ancientGreeks called the Cynics, founded by Antisthenes in about the 4th century BC. The Cynics rejected all conventions, whether of religion, manners, housing, dress, or decency, advocating the pursuit of virtue in a simple and unmaterialistic lifestyle. By the 19th century, emphasis on the negative aspects of Cynic philosophy led to a new and very different understanding of cynicism to mean an attitude of jaded negativity, and a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of other people. Modern cynicism, as a product of mass society, is a distrust toward professed ethical and social values, especially when there are high expectations concerning society, institutions and authorities which are unfulfilled. Cynicism can manifest itself as a result of frustration, disillusionment, and distrust perceived as due to organizations, authorities and other aspects of society, and thus is roughly equivalent to a substantive form of the English word "jaded". I think I am quite possibly the queen of cynicism.

ick

Dear 88%,

What is the hang up here? Do you not realize that means you most likely have bad breath, or is it that you just don't CARE?? Maybe its like working on a farm, how after a while you just don't smell the manure? Maybe one can't smell the food decaying in one's own mouth? I dunno.

If you're not into dental health, for dental health's sake, consider flossing for your love-ones, co-workers, employees, roommates, children... you know, the people you speak at. They will appreciate the 30 seconds it takes.

Thank you

poem

Haikus really rock

all my friends should write me one

with their random thoughts.

=P

Death tugs at my ear and says:

"Live, I am coming".

~Oliver Wendell Holmes

No one travels Along this way but I, This autumn evening

~anonymous

Its a sphynx.

DON'T LET THEM SEE YOU'RE AFRAID.

Snowdrops

I found this little guy on the kitchen floor. Started to sweep him up in a dirt pile. I apologized. He forgave me. We hung out for a while. He showed me his clever trick, rolled over on my hand. Impressive. He didn't seem to want to go, actually he closed his eyes and was all set to take a nap in the sun on my wrist, but I thought it best to let him sleep on that rock. Much friendlier find than the roach hanging out on the wall in the babies room this morning.