Crystallized =]

I am taking myself OUT. I have spent the week mostly sleeping or crashed out on the couch with my laptop and TV and my body has just eaten up all this available time to hang out in dreamland. I said I felt like I could sleep for a week, and then basically did.

I considered staying in bed again today but the new neighbor just above me is driving me crazy with his loud and never ending ghetto speak. He has spent his week out on his balcony conversing/yelling constantly on his phone the only words of which I can really understand are the angry profanities. Not a very "neighborly" fellow.

The brand new not too personable management, the new neighbors, the recent major car crash/shooting up the street and the fact that my friend is hitting the trail when her lease is up soon is making my home feel not so home-y anymore. I'm kinda scared to be living here alone.

Oh well at least I have my cat... and some pepper spray. Im taking my lazy ass out into the world to go for a walk and see a movie.

Thank you Zooey, I needed this laugh! <3

I left my cat for 11 days to visit my family, now he is permanently right at my side and needs to be touching me in some capacity at EVERY moment.. I thought he was needy before, geesh. I think he loves me.

tomorrow sings

My soul bares the weight of a changing me

a separation leaving me free and yet with a ghostly whispering.

Embracing a name more fitting just seems might bring

me some peace and heal the bad dreams.

Parting ways at a time when there is good cause to be near,

as I take off my soul floods with the fear that the place I am heading

has nothing for me.

Lost in a multitude of thoughts, of dreams good and bad,

of longings, doors shut and locked, of goodbyes and old times,

wished for words that assure and apologies,

choices I regret and days not lived yet, tears shed

over the years swim together and paint a picture of all that has shaped me.

Feeling so far from where they all are, the ones I should be able to be

around most genuinely, finding it strange these ones know

so little about me.

I miss them but maybe there is a reason;

maybe this season apart will help each to see

we are parts of each other, even if we live differently.

I wish I knew you and you knew me so we could affirm each other

unconditionally as sisters and brother. Conversations hang

not leaving my mind, only wishful thinking because

my courage is buried. Behind words about right and wrong

beaten throughout my restless mind. My heart feels the burden

of all such things, and still looks ahead with curious hope because

tomorrow sings.